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For general OOC discussion about Furfed.
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The_ASE
Senior Member
Senior Member
Posts: 336
Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2011 3:09 pm
Species: Arctic Wolf
Location: Hilton Head, South Carolina

Request

Post by The_ASE » Fri Jul 19, 2013 9:33 am

This is primarily addressed to Tinis, and I won't put it in a private message or a telegram because then it's harassment apparently. And I figure that this is pretty much a last message before I get banned. If not, then I'd like a civilized conversation about it. Please read the whole thing as well, because, and I am just going to be honest here, it felt like little things were picked out in my RMB posts without reading the whole thing.

I've had time to think things over. As such, I realized what I have done wrong in the past both here and on NS. I'll just go down the list and hopefully atone for it. In the end, all I want is to smooth things over. That's all my goal has been for weeks, yet it felt like I am being fought at every turn when I try to do the right thing. This isn't an attempt to take over things, this isn't an attempt to smear people to make myself look high and mighty, it's a long winded explanation of everything that has happened in the hopes of being able to come to an agreement on things and putting aside conflict.

Let me start by saying that I still love this community. I love the people in it and I loved the years of interaction that we had. I might be the only one to feel that way, but I digress. I never announced anything when I went on my hiatus because there wasn't a proper way to phrase it at the time that I knew of. As I said on the NS RMB, I was younger and dumber. The reason behind my hiatus was because of the state of the forum. I had realized how nonsensical things had become - in no small part due to I and Aluez primarily, but also everyone else in varying degrees - and I wanted a break from it, a fresh start. However, no one was around to state what my concerns were. Tinis, with you as the sole leader, there was no one to turn to because we never knew when you were around or when you would be next, and, frankly, I felt at the time that you were unapproachable, so I went on my unannounced hiatus. I apologize if you think I just up and left.

I did nothing roleplay oriented for months while I tried to find somewhere to set up again. In this time I worked to make everything I did more realistic, actually have scientific bases behind it - even if the science was shaky - and just all around more balanced than the, and I roughly use your words here Tinis, "magical x that does y". That was bullshit that Aluez and I had been engaged with where it wasn't necessary (MT, as the case would be). At the time it had been fun, in hindsight it was stupid and ruined it for some others.

I finally, properly, set down with pic around... January of 2012. We made amends for the problems that there were between us here in the FurFed. Apologies were made - on both sides - and we settled down to try to create a working roleplay community. It was slow, only really being the two of us for months, then I managed to pull back Aluez and Aatuylva and other former FurFed members that had left for other reasons, inactivity among them though that wasn't my reason. Stuck around for a little while then left him when a poorly phrased wording caused departure. That was in October I believe. Left and made my own forum, brought over everything that had stuck with me, gained a few extra members, and we were rolling pretty well. Pic and I made amends, and we merged again later into the current Commonwealth of Furry People's forum, which has a relatively active membership as of now.

After the FurFed was invaded, I realized that I wanted to do something. Even before that I had wanted to at least throw into the forum here. I sent a telegram to Tinis asking to possibly help head the roleplay part of the forum and get it active again. Having experience now in running a forum, and being around for years, I had hoped I'd be welcomed back and my experience used for the betterment of all. Instead I was ignored. I didn't take it too personally. I honestly didn't expect a positive response, though I would have liked any response. When the invasion happened, I was first to jump to action and call upon those within my region that I knew could help, I provided a place for the refugees to run to, and tried to keep spirits up as best I could. I made mistakes during this, though this was mostly when I had felt hopeless. The liberation was a great weight lifted off of me, and I had hoped that my part in it could help change things.

Apparently I was wrong. I had hoped to be considered for the founder position, but we all know how well that went. Honestly, that only felt like it proved what I had felt; that there was an irrational animosity toward me. In my... frustration, I had crafted a telegram, that, also in frustration, I marked as a recruitment telegram and sent along to the entire region. Why? Well, that answer eludes me now. As I said, I was frustrated with everything and the feeling that I was being singled out for no reason. Or at least not a reason that I was aware of.

So before I go onto my last point, here's what I have to say. I have apologies, but only half apologies since I am not the only one at fault with most of them. First, I apologize for my actions years ago in roleplay. That was my own mistake brought on by not knowing any better. On the other hand, there was no one to guide me either. I ended up having to teach myself things. Second, I apologize for leaving without saying anything. I should have, but I felt like no one would care or listen. Third, I apologize for my actions on the NS RMB recently. That was my sort of kneejerk reaction to having to defend myself publicly. I do get defensive when in a situation like that. Fourth, I apologize for the telegram that I sent. As I said, it was my own frustration that caused it to happen. If I missed anything, please tell me so I can explain it and try to make amends for it.

Which brings me to now. I read the debate answers on the FurFed RMB. I have been keeping an eye on things out of curiosity. For all intents and purposes, it looks like there's a reset to the roleplay and a reshuffle of moderators. As I said, I am not here for power, it's the reset that interests me. All I would ask for, all that I would want, is forgiveness for the stupidity of the past. When this reset goes through, I'd like to actually be accepted as part of the community again in the roleplay things (as I honestly am not sure if I would be given the current state of things) and be given a second chance to prove that I won't do the stupid things of past. I like the world building things, and I like to create a believable MT nation. In fact, I'd rather likely port over the one I use in the Commonwealth of Furry Peoples for use here with some modification.

Point is, I want a chance to redeem myself in your eyes. I guess, to hit on something I said earlier, I want to break my hiatus and come back so I have another community to be invested in.
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