Channel 7 News

Mommy, what are 'politics'?
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Channel 7 News

Post by Channel 7 » Sun Mar 27, 2011 3:21 am

READ ME BEFORE POSTING HERE

This thread is for posting of news stories from your nation. This thread should be used to keep everyone updated on the goings on in your nation both in the flavor department (70 foot tall wolf knocks over land mark, is hit with 50 foot news paper) and updates of the current happenings in various threads. As such, some basic rules to keep things orderly.

1. Always include a date for the report.
2. If your report is not attached to a thread currently, include at the bottom: [Flavor]
3. If your report is attached to a thread, include a link to the thread (or threads if things get messy) at the bottom.
4. Nations can post reactions to news reports with the following conditions:
a. If it is a Flavor news report the response is also marked as flavor if the matter is otherwise dropped, or else mark it as requesting a thread of its own. Then discuss with the original poster that you are replying to the new thread and a new RP is born!
b. If the news you are replying to is attached to a thread, if you do not wish to get involved in that thread, mark it as flavor, else cross post your news between this thread and the attached thread.
c. Don't reply to a flavor post that is a reply to a previous flavor post, instead get with those involved to create a new thread for the back and forth, even if its entirely in the media! And then you can cross post between the two. This allows for actions that goes beyond what is being expressed by the media and thus we don't get shoe horned into a medium that some of us aren't very good at RPing in.
5. Keep it civil as always.
6. If your media has a bias (official or unofficial) make it known in an [OOC: ... ] bit at the end.
7. Mark commentary as commentary and do know that commentary is not news or official positions of government. Reacting to pundit commentary as if it was the official position of a foreign government is grounds for bringing in a moderator to make sure things are progressing in a sensical fashion.
8. This thread is only for new posts, but they can be of many different mediums (TV, radio, internet, blogs, town crier, ect.)
9. This thread is for the MT-PMT and closely related continuities. Similar threads can be made in Other/FT and will be sticked if folks are up for following these rules.

The short version for people who don't like lists, keep this to news. If this thread is making the news, the action needs to get its own thread. And please keep us updated on what's going on in the various threads! As things progress keep us posted. This will also let you gain perspective on what's already happened.

So have at it!

The_ASE
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Re: The News

Post by The_ASE » Wed Mar 30, 2011 10:12 pm

Emperor Xaimoungkhoun Releases Rap Album
Intergalactic News Network
Released with record sales - 14.5 million sold in 24 hours - the Emperor's newest, and only, CD has received widespread negative reactions. As one of the more well known reviewers has said, "I honestly can't tell if this is serious or a parody of the genre. If it's the former, he should stick to his day job. At least he's a tiny iota better at ruling a country, though not that much."

The album included tracks such as "Winning (ft. Charlie Sheen)", "Lord and Master", "Whine Liberal Whine", "Kiss my Royal Ass", "Polygamy FTW", "Galactic Gameplan", and "Pick Dat Cotton". All of them, obviously, have a political meaning in some form.

The Emperor himself came out and said, "I still don't know what the hell I was thinking. Moral of this story: when you get drunk, for the love of god if you have a good idea, don't carry it out."

It's not expected the Emperor will live this down.
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Holmbergsvania-BFPE
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Re: The News

Post by Holmbergsvania-BFPE » Mon Apr 11, 2011 11:37 pm

Port Penguin Channel 6 News
KNOM 6
Floods Slow Port Penguin Hustle and Bustle
Well it certainly has been a wet week! The rain over the Port Penguin area hasn't subsided fully yet, but the Port Penguin Public Works Department has reported some items of interest for citizens of this area. Port Penguin Parks and Recreation reports all city grass-based fields closed until further notice, Port Penguin Public Works Stormwater Division requests that you remove all blockages from residential drains.

Environment Holmbergsvania reports that the storm will soon clear and the mysterious glowing ball will return to the sky once more...

Come to think about it, what the hell is that thing? We haven't seen it all year!

[Flavor]

The_ASE
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Re: The News

Post by The_ASE » Mon May 02, 2011 11:03 am

ANS Harbinger Sunk
Imperial News Center
An accident at sea today caused the second sinking of the ANS Harbinger. According to eyewitness reports from within the First Fleet, the explosion originated within the magazines for turrets 1 and 2. A short search for survivors was called off after the ship was declared a total loss. This sinking, which killed at least 3,000 sailors, is the worst maritime disaster of the Anean Navy.

The First Fleet was called back from it's mission - sailing around the continent in order to break in the new ships - and on the way back to New Astrapolis Naval Yards. The sinking, according to the Admiral of the First Fleet, occurred roughly 200 miles off the coast of Miokalia.

While it is not known what caused the blast, the Emperor has refused to cast blame on any party and considers it to just be an unfortunate accident. A mass burial, with full military honors, at New Gracaria Military Cemetery is to take place upon arrival of the fleet and the Emperor is arranging compensation for the families.

Following this, the Fleet Admiral of the New Gracaria Naval Defense Force has suspended all operations outside territorial waters and will force all ships to undergo an inspection to prevent another disaster like this from happening again.
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Holmbergsvania-BFPE
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Re: The News

Post by Holmbergsvania-BFPE » Mon May 09, 2011 11:44 pm

Port Penguin Welcomes New Skyscraper!
Holmbergsvania Free Press
Silari Telecom announced today that construction of their tower- the aptly named Silari Telecom Tower, has been completed today. The building's total height extends to approximately two kilometers tall, and has been fitted with advanced HVAC and oxygen supplying systems to keep height anxiety and sickness down. The building has also, according to the architecture firm that designed it, is designed to maintain a pressurized atmosphere above a certain floor. For security purposes, the exact floor has not yet been disclosed. We can be assured however that this building has been built out of the way of Rainier Wolfesberg International Airport.

For additional news, tune in later!

The_ASE
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Re: The News

Post by The_ASE » Fri May 13, 2011 2:52 pm

OOC: Shortly after the Citadel meeting ends.
Foreign Medal Recipients
Imperial News Center
The Emperor forced through the Senate a series of confirmations for the Emperor's Legion of Honor. The Legion of Honor is the Empire's highest military award. Over the last 1000 years of the Anean Star Empire, no more than 2,500 had ever been awarded. Most of the medals were awarded to humans for an unknown reason and none of them were ever awarded to a soldier from another nation.

War Minister Michael Stidham (Aatuylvan)
- For helping to bring together the Empire and Confederacy and being able to put up with Emperor Xaimoungkhoun's crazy.

Lady Commander J'ozi Tiam (Aatuylvan)
- For defending the Aluezi and Anean survivors against a Wraithwolf assault.

J'nka Runtali (Aatuylvan)
- For assisting in firefighting operations during the Megamantics attack.

Mr. Jarfi (Aatuylvan)
- For assisting in the moving the resistance force to safety despite the Federation onslaught.

Centurion Resha Volvoin (Aatuylvan)
- For leading the resistance force to safety in the north despite the Federation onslaught.

Lord Commander James Verani (Aatuylvan)
- For properly securing and defending New Astrapolis during the Federation invasion.

Admiral John Bigsun (United States)
- For leading the United Nations Task Force in response to the Federation invasion.


While many of these may have been merely as a political gesture, all of them deserved the award. In addition, the Emperor has selected a few people to win the Emperor's Commendation Medal. The ECM is similar to Earth's Nobel Prize, but is awarded to far fewer people and for reasons undefined. It's more difficult to win than the Legion of Honor and comes with a $1,500,000 prize, a starship (though a yacht since all recipients are on Earth), and, usually, the respect of the Empire.

Arlosi Darkfur (Aatuylvan)
- Arlosi is a pretty cool guy. He tells the truth and doesn't afraid of anything.

Tod Vlodovic (Aluezi)
- Awarded for helping to bring together Aluez and the Empire as well as uniting, indirectly, the population of the Empire.

Apparateur Sweizalthorpe (Miokalian)
- For being able to make the leadership of the Empire see the fault of their ways and being among the few that openly argues with the Emperor.
Last edited by The_ASE on Thu May 26, 2011 5:02 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Holmbergsvania-BFPE
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Re: The News

Post by Holmbergsvania-BFPE » Sun May 22, 2011 7:41 pm

IsoGaz acquires Gas Field assets in Aatuylva
Holmbergsvanian Free Press
Today, a deal was brokered between IsoGaz Natural Resource Extraction Corp. and the Aatuylvan government for the acquisition of natural gas assets on Aatuylvan land. IsoGaz spokesman Kurt Orsinias said of the deal:

"This is a groundbreaking deal in the history of IsoGaz, and Holmbergsvanian industry. As we speak, a natural gas exploration team is en-route to Aatuylva in order to spot deposits that are worthy of extracting. We expect results within a week, and will begin shipping drilling equipment over there as soon as we receive word of exploitable assets."

This announcement follows on the heels of a scandal involving IsoGaz's security service, in which a 20 year old Port Penguin man was killed by a shot to the head with a .50 caliber round after supposedly shouting "YOU SUCK" to an Isogaz Security Solutions guard tower. The mercenary is on leave pending an Internal Affairs and Holmbergsvanian Federal Police investigation.
Prince adopts son!
Holmbergsvanian Free Press
It's official, and no longer tabloid news. Prince Alaric Holmberg V is finally a father. Albeit he had no way to conceive this child, due to [section redacted]

The child, Sitka Waldreich, a 12 year old Alaskan Malamute from Gregoria, BFPE was adopted by the Prince following a plea of assistance from the Holmbergsvanian Health and Anthro/Human Services Ministry, which reported a rise in orphaned children in the BFPE and Holmbergsvania this year. News also reports that Mr. Waldreich has certain medical issues that are being tended to by Alaric and the Holmbergsvanian Children's Hospital Network.

For more news, stick with HFP: Who needs "fair and balanced" when you have the truth!

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Re: The News

Post by Aatuylva » Mon May 23, 2011 7:28 pm

OOC: Anyone know what date it is ICly? I'm assuming there's a partial reboot due to certain things happening, so it's not as far as it should be...idk, I'm just going to put 2015 because that's a good future date or something I HAVE NO IDEA HURRAY. This includes a repost of older flavor newspostings. Also it should go without saying that Arolusi Darkfur is Aatuylva's version of Rush Limbaugh and other radio personalities.

Radio AIR PAW-276

Darkfur's Dinner Damnation Hour


"Guess what folks? Turns out pumping so much money into 'defense' has left our soldiers bored out of their drug-addled minds! Internal Affairs reports that there have been no less than twenty-six counts of 'Misappropriate uses of Military Hardware' in the past month. Before you get into a tizzy, wait til you hear what they've been doing.

"See, you're probably worried about bored Ai'lupans firing off mortars for shits and giggles, or Accallians trying to see how hard they have to hit the radioactive ones with a hammer before they scare the 'gremlins' away, but it's actually a lot more innocent than that. See, the big hussafuss is all about our soldiers deciding they like to have party snacks to go with their party time!

"Among the various items confiscated and used inappropriately include...several hundred gallons of ice cream, produced via some ingenious jury-rigging to the new fighter aircraft, several hundred gallons of coffee and tea, made using machine guns to flash-boil water while 'test-firing' across the Aatuylvan-Kalian border, ten rockets used as 'rapid-reaction glitter-deployment devices'...you've just gotta love that last one....aaand one 400mm artillery cannon being used to blast large amounts of water, attached to the end of the barrel, into the air in order to facilitate a large-scale impromptu wet t-shirt contest."

Snickering is heard in the background, and the sound of a chair falling over.

"...yeah, so apparently the military has found much better uses for the time, money, and training the Confederacy gives them than they thought...Ohohohooo this just in, have I got a treat for you my dear listeners. I have just got my paws on the most delicious set of internal memos this side of the equator, and believe you me you're all going to want to hear this.
I do believe this may end my career in the radio business, but that doesn't matter because I'm betting all of my foreign listeners are very keen on figuring out what Aatuylva thinks about them, hmmhmmhmmm?
Right well onto the juice, yeah? Let's see let's see..where to start...most of these are actually innocuous, but some..not so much....right right....first let's start with the obvious ones, yea?
Staff report blahblahblah...military blah blah...here we go!

" 'It is the firm belief of this agent of InShtu that the current leadership of New Gracaria is terminally insane, and if not removed or replaced, will continue to cause diplomatic disruptions, even during attempts at repairing them, until enough internal instability results in his assassination via various parties both inside and outside of his nation.'...Oooh I think they're talking bout ol' Izzy Mungkin or however you say his impossibly long name. Anyways.... 'In the event of instability causing the collapse of the Anean Government again, suggested actions include full occupation by peace-keeper forces in order to prevent New Gracaria's internal security forces from murdering civilians in attempts to re-establish order, as was witnessed during the Federation Invasion by the security force known as 'Megamantics'.'

" 'It is also the humble opinion of this agent that the War Minister be persuaded to ally himself with a different naval power if he hopes to have a stable and permanent defense against the insane Commonwealth, or perhaps he should modernize the navy instead of pushing funds into fruitless space programs.'

"Well everyone already knows everything in this one, and the rest is droll economic surveys."

The Sound of papers being shuffled about and tossed can be heard as he clears his throat, reaching the next one.

"Right right...Holmbergsvania! Oh they're the talk of the town nowadays aren't they? Let's see...."

" 'They claim to be a democracy, but have extremely dangerous tendencies towards authoritarianism, and are prone to protests and demonstrations, and it is rumored that their Prince may soon reclaim his power. The Office is torn as to whether this is good or bad, as dictators and monarchs often bring stability, and the immense naval power of Holmbergsvania is required to help secure Aatuylvan interests against Kalian and Kcalan pirates. Furthermore it is imperative that they replace New Gracaria as the prime protector of our shipping, as Gracarian ships are prone to being owned by terrorist organizations such as Megamantics, and liable to shoot their own kin the moment a chance at profit is to be gained. Should such organizations arise in Holmbergsvania, it is suggested that their leadership be removed in as quickly and quietly a way as possible.' "

"...again, nothing new here, so lets get to the fun stuff! Hmm hmmm....Tikult'Kal is full of crazy...everyone knows this...Bas-Tilarn oppresses people, blahblahblah the Commonwealth of Kcal should be burnt away in nuclear fire until it sinks below the sea, yaddayadda come on where's something we don't know already?! Ooooh! Miokalia! Here's a good one!"

" 'Miokalia is an interesting and puzzling anomaly in a region known to be a haven for pirates and terrorists. Their strict hegemony allows for much needed policing to be done in the surrounding waters, yet their non-interventionist policies have prevented them from being much use, allowing the Commonwealth to throw it's 'navy' of mercenaries, pirates, and thugs to extort several nations, only being challenged when the Holmbergsvanians closed down the straits. The overthrow of the Kcalan government by Miokalian agents, while a much needed regime change for the southern peninsula, comes too little and too late, marring their hopes for friendly relations with those up north. While Aatuylva is perfectly fine dealing with Miokalians and delights in their pragmatism, their late reaction to their volatile neighbor belies a kind of cowardice that many won't find endearing. Even the Kazian response of shutting down the pipelines to Kcal came too late to really affect what almost turned into a war. Nevertheless, if peace and stability is to reign in the South, then Miokalia is the only nation with the clout to pull it off.' "

"Hmmmhmmm...let's see...Next up......oooh Aluez! Our fine new neighbor living on the ashes of our old neighbor!"

" 'Aluez has brought us an immense amount of trouble in the short time they have been here, drawing the ire of a nation called 'Salnai', which mentioned earlier in this report, is a Wraith-classed threat...' blah blah shoot shipping...blahblah pirates...Cross foxes, epidemic or adorable business opportunity...Ah here we go. 'Their government, at times, is reactionary, often taking extreme options in order to secure itself from threats, and, while they are a favored ally and protectorate of our fair nation, steps must be taken so that their infrastructure and government become more stable, as a stable neighbor is required if we are ever to cede control of their section of the Wall to them.' For our foreign listeners, the 'Wall' is a massive fortification along the northern borders of Aatuylva and Aluez, built to keep those barbaric cannibals out..now where was I... Hm...most of this is actually discussing areas where bases and airfields would best be placed, and possible mineral deposits that the Aluezi should be tipped off to. Damn, and here I thought I was going to ignite the powderkeg. There isn't really much on here about anyone else that isn't common knowledge, I suppose, let's hope I don't get assassinated by Stidham's thugs! Although, with the Aneans heaping praise upon me for throwing balled up flaming debris at them, I can now build my own pirate radio station on the high seas! Arrrr mateys, join me on this station as I broadcast next week from the Bountiful Supply of Belligerent Insanity!"

"Arolusi Darkfur is over, out, and going to get high as a gods-be-damned kite. Goodnight, goodluck, and remember, keep it frisky!"

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Daily Dollop
22 Sifo 2015
2 Ruils

Post Service unveils new mail-delivery plan!

In a surprising bid of change and upgrading, the National Mail Service has announced it will begin testing and developing a faster and more efficient way to deliver the mail to the masses using surplus military equipment.
The Postlegion's General announces that the use of out-dated cruise missiles and rockets is perfectly safe, and they are going to begin the first test by the weekend, to deliver a large backlog of letters en masse.
Proponents state that the United States had already successfully tested a similar method, and that it is a more peaceful way to dispose of and use older munitions.
It's detractors have not been reachable at this time, as most of them have, quote, 'better things to do than preach common sense to asylum inmates.'

New train design a flop, experts say.

The Aatuylvan Railway Authority had to cancel their attempts at building a rocket-powered train today, after the fifth accident involving the prototype locomotive caused it to be destroyed.
An ongoing process for the past twenty years, the ARA has been desperately trying to increase the top speeds of it's trains in order to keep hold of it's monopoly, and many had placed their stock in rocketry.
The initial founder of the program, M'ntac Grea, could not be reached for comment, but those of his estate say that he will continue to try and build a successful prototype using his own funds.
It is unknown if the ARA will be able to keep the military's funding after this debacle, but with constant improvements to their steam engines already in service, they may be around for years to come.
Last edited by Aatuylva on Thu May 26, 2011 5:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.—Robert A. Heinlein

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Re: The News

Post by miokalia » Tue May 24, 2011 12:58 pm

Tdel Tribune


Commonwealth of Saia Enters Next Round of Elections

This is the second round of elections held in the Saia isles following the resignation of President Alafur, also known as "the salty president" after civil unrest. Alafur's Barbary Party had recently come under fire for their anti-trade policies and their tendency to agitate other Commonwealth states as well as Miokalia and KZ.
The first round of elections was found to be fraudulent when the widely-despised Barbary Party won again, and Ckal-Union peacekeepers threatened that if the election stood, they would revoke the recognition of the government under that regime.
Miokalia's Apparateur Sweizalthorpe has stated that the Barbary Party is "...the most politically destabilizing thing to happen to Ckal since their civil war which that party in fact, also caused."

The Barbary party is headquartered on an old Guylocian sea fort known as "Schtolplort", in the East Daras sea (now Saia waters)

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Re: The News

Post by The_ASE » Sat May 28, 2011 3:48 pm

New Gracaria Defense Force Introduces New Readiness System
Colonial News Center
Due to some issues within Anean command involving the jumping around of the old and outdated DEFCON system, Governor-Militant Soldavini authorized the change that splits DEFCON into DEFPOS (Defensive Posture) and OFFPOS (Offensive Posture). The system is hoped to ease international concerns as well due to the Empire's constant DEFCON 3 since the outbreak of the Liberation War.

DEFPOS will be used on a scale of 5 to 1, one being the highest readiness, and show the capabilities of the defenses of the nation. For example, at DEFPOS 5, the entire defense force (save the vital elements) would be demobilized since there'd be no threat of war/invasion. But at DEFPOS 1 the militia would be armed and ready to fight should a war occur.

OFFPOS, also on the 5 to 1 scale, will show the offensive capabilities of the nation. Like the DEFPOS, OFFPOS 5 would be a demobilization of offensive forces while OFFPOS 1 would mean the military is capable of launching large scale offensive operations.

Neither system is linked, so DEFPOS could be at 2 while OFFPOS is at 5 or 4. It's hoped that this can give a better idea of the readiness of the nation and not have the leaders of other nations thinking there's an incoming nuclear apocalypse. Not that we have nukes of course, so that won't ever happen.

While we're talking about the system, the NGDF released the current levels:
DEFPOS: 2 (Heightened Defensive Posture due to Liberation War)
OFFPOS: 4 (Reduced Offensive Posture due to relative regional peace)
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